Packity pack pack pack

We're moving again this weekend.

Well... Jute and Gaz are moving us this weekend. I have very conveniently organised to escape to Auckland. *muhahaha*

So yes, we are set to pack up our house for the second time in about 6 months and shift 5 minutes down the road and squidge the 5 of us into a 2 bedroom house.

Yes.

A 2 bedroom.

With 5 people. 4 adults. 1 child. 1 cat.

*faint*

Insanity.

Pay equity protest

Brain not working enough for anything remotely intelligent so if you want to read about pay equity stuff then have a look through here.

Otherwise, protest was awesome. I was able to hang out with one of my all time fave feminists as I walked with her to Parliament.

Close to home... or work.

Thanks to the Wellingtonista for drawing this to my attention.

How will the Manners Street Knitting Posse continue on? (Despite the fact that it still only has one member and is rather defunct at present.)

Could this be a bad idea?

So... a Juniper customer lady wants a custom adult sized beret in dusky pink.

I was stressing about where I could find some nice yarn that was cost effective to buy for this particular order.

Then it dawned on me (mere moments ago!), that once upon a time I dyed some yarn.

And so I may just attempt it again.

Watch this space.

P.S. Am making great progress on Cuinn's Nikau. I finally decided to stop being scared of the fact that I mutilated the pattern instructions and just roll with it and see where it takes me. I really really hate ripping back (I'm lazy like that!) so I hope like feck it works out. Looking good so far.

I refuse to twitter

But if I did, this is what it would look like:

• I hate it when you look down and realise you are a walking bloody Glassons advert
• @Abrakebabra-dude-walking-through-JS-Building: just because you didn't turn your head, doesn't mean I can't see you looking.
• Mmmmm cofffeeeeeee
• Don't worry people, it isn't swine flu! Just a cold.
  
• Less concrete, more brain today. Good times.

I think there is a good reason I don't twitter. Less boring the world to tears.

The war continues...

I received a package in the mail on Friday with no return address. I squeezed it a bit and turned my head sideways and squinted in an attempt to decipher the handwriting... with no success. Postmark was smudged so no hope of guessing where it came from.

So I tore open the envelope with great excitement and just a small bit of fear... and happened upon the DAMN FAKE FLOWER. Alongside the wire stemmed faux fleury genius was a note from my suspiciously sister-like "Secret Admirer". Secret admirer my ass. No admirer would be that cruel.

The war is not over yet.

On my opposition to the pro-smacking movement

I've put up the 'Yes Vote' sky scraper over there --->

It's a campaign that I want to support. I don't know if I'll get into explaining the intricacies of the question and how ridiculous it is but I will address my reasons for supporting the repeal of s.59 of the Crimes Act (which has already been passed in Parliament and has been in effect since 2007...) again without getting into the intricacies of that. Heh.

So I guess this post is just going to be me on my anti-smacking diatribe. It's something that most people feel unable to tackle due to how up in arms the pro-smacking lobby are about their "right to smack". I just don't think there is one - I don't think it is a helpful parenting tool. I'm not going to demonise parents who do smack... but hopefully address my concerns about using smacking as a form of discipline and then tackle the issue from a wider normative perpective.

Woah, and I haven't even said anything yet!

As a kid, we were smacked. I don't think I've suffered any particular harm from this at all but in my brief career as a parent I have come across many other methods of "discipline" (this may be a whole other thing to tackle if you follow unconditional parenting!) and I fail to see how smacking could be a preferable option. I'm not a saint by any stretch, I spend far too much of my time screeching at Hannah and trying to hurry her along... my punishment currency has become a loss of independence eg if she doesn't put her shoes on herself, then I do it for her... miles of analysis to be done on that too. Maybe at a later date ;) But ultimately, when she does display challenging behaviour, I try to take a step back and look at the root causes. And most of the time can find some physiological reason for her actions which has been the result of a failure of mine to ensure she's getting enough sleep, food, water, or attention; causes of behaviour which most definitely don't deserve Hannah being smacked.

I guess my main gripe with smacking is that we are all (generalisation!) trying to teach our kids that it isn't alright to be violent toward another person. I have massive issues with the hypocrisy of saying "Don't smack!" *smack*. I believe it would be totally confusing to a child to have that sort of behaviour modelled to them and long term would ingrain in their little heads that violence is the appropriate response to situations where someone has behaved in a socially unacceptable way... instead of considering the cause of the behaviour and how to change it.

My Dad raised the example of the "common cure" for biting that had been suggested to me many times over when Hannah was that kid at creche, leaving a trail of bite marks over her fellow creche goers. While I can see the point that she needed to know that biting hurt, I think it was probably fairly obvious to her from the reactions of the children that they were indeed in pain. If I had simply bitten her back, that probably is the lesson she would have learned from it. But she would have also learned that I was willing to deliberately hurt her. And quite simply, I'm not. I also don't believe it would have worked as it failed to address the issues that caused her to bite in the first place, which was communication. It took quite a while, but the creche teachers and I worked hard at trying to get Hannah to use words instead of resorting to biting. They were also mindful of when she was getting tired as that was the time when she was most likely to bite. When she did bite, behaviour was modelled by the teachers and/or I by comforting the child who had been bitten. Eventually, she learned to talk a bit more and she hasn't bitten since.

Geepers. Rambly ramble.

Let's move on to the wider social norm of non-violence. Hopefully I'll have less to say about this and it may make more sense. Yeahhh right.

I'm a huge proponent of social change and in particular, the promotion of certain norms through modelling and campaiging/advocacy in order for society to internalise these norms. It's a product of my study and where I hope to develop a career. For the most part, I am anti-top down approaches. But I'm also contradictory, so in terms of norms which I am favoured towards, in this case I am totally for it. Yuss.

Basically, I don't believe that the law should allow for people to be violent toward their children as condoning violence at the top means that the message that filters down to society is one that suggests it is socially acceptable to assault your child. As mentioned above, I don't think violence is necessary toward one's child but even moreso, I abhor child abuse. This law was not specifically to deal with child abuse. Let me get that clear. We have those laws already and the issue is NOT going away. But this law did seem to be about changing the way we think about disciplining children for the longer term goal of a violence-free culture.

As I said above, I don't want to go into the technicalities of who or what could be prosecuted under the law. And some people might argue that it isn't the job of the law to attempt social change. I haven't got enough background in legal stuff to debate that in great detail but all I know is that I don't think there should be a defence under the Crimes Act that allows you to plead "reasonable force" if you are up on a charge of assault. (I think that's the charge it relates to... I got confused reading through the legisaltion. It was probably because I was hungry! If I'm wrong, please correct me.)

So. There ya go. I'm pushing for the Yes Vote in the referendum.

And as I mentioned above, I don't intend to demonise those parents who do smack... but I would like them to consider the wider social context when they assert publically that they believe they have the right to smack their children.

Over and out.

Nikki
The eternal optimist

ETA I just had a think about that last bit and I don't mean to encourage anyone to be secretive about smacking either. I'd like people to be comfortable to admit their techniques of discipline but also to be open minded about positive methods of parenting. I believe people can change and they need to be supported in this. So don't hesitate to ask for help! There is a helpful section on this on the YesVote website: http://yesvote.org.nz/background/positive-discipline/

The post where I ramble

For a change.

My apologies to everyone I freaked out with my cryptic comments. I thought I'd been way blatant about my secret business but it turns out it was a lot more worrying than I thought. So, yes, Hannah and I are fine and dandy! Just potentially embarking on some exciting new adventures... it's just that making those adventures happen is proving a tad challenging and it's causing me to be grumpy. But being the eternal optimist that I am... it WILL happen! Eventually.

And when it does look more solid then I will totally announce it.

In the mean time, I have exciting projects underway on the knitting front in terms of workshops and exhibitions and all things eventy. I've also been avoiding my uni paper which I should perhaps tackle at some point. The text book costs nearly $100 so I've been avoiding it for a good reason!

So while all that is going on behind the scenes, I have feck all to show for it. My apologies.

I'm a total blog bore.

Sulky and depressed it is then!

Well. Not really actually. Strangely enthused about possibilities despite a bit of disappointment. I love being the eternal optimist and silver lining finder in these situations! heh

So yeah, the craziness I mentioned here isn't going to turn into the uber craziness I hoped it might.

Man. Cryptic. Don'tcha hate me right now?

Anywayyyy... I have a bright orange gerbera and dreams aplenty. It ain't over yet my friend.

Productive Sunday

Day of rest my ass.

I spent Saturday morning tidying our lounge and attacking the mountains of dishes and monstrous washing pile that had formed on one of our chairs. There's plenty more to be done but it gave me enough space to tackle domestic goddess business on Sunday.

It started with chicken stock, banana cake, pikelets, and bread in the morning and then after I had gone and had baby cuddles and a much needed catch up with a friend, I spent the afternoon sewing up a storm. Han needs a pile of new clothes as she seems to be adding a centimetre per day to the length of her limbs. Pants that I thought had miles to grow into are suddenly too damn short! Argh.

So I made Han a pair of pants in record time, she refused to try them on, I threw a tantrum. But meh. They'll either fit or they won't. My apologies. No pics of those due to generally noncompliant four year old. Grrr.

After that I decided to sew for someone who would appreciate the effort and willingly model any garments created. So I sewed myself a merino dress! Wooooo!

Every time I've tackled super stretchy fabrics I've had a disastrous time with the sewing machine eating the fabric and packing tantrums on me. But I discovered the secret. Finally! It turns out when they say that you should use the correct needle for the fabric you are sewing, they aren't just being pedantic. It actually makes a difference. A pretty major one actually. My apologies for doubting you, sewing masters. I bow to your superior knowledge of needly business.

And I freaking love it. LOVE IT! I subjected Claire to me dancing around in it for a good half hour or so because I was so excited. No pattern as usual. Yussss. [Edited to add: OK my damn sister just saw the pic and said "Oh cool, does it come with the tummy?" Bitch. heh. So may I just say in my defence that I'm wearing two layers underneath it? If I was wearing it out I'd find a slip thing to wear. So take that Jute!]

After my fit of sewing, the domestic goddess-ness continued with totally awesome pumpkin soup for dinner. If only the Devil Child agreed. For some reason she has massive objections to soup and can't help gagging up a storm. I can only surmise that it is the texture because it sure as hell ain't the taste. Well... I thought it was good at least. Damn her.

It was in the after glow of my extreme productiveness that I started to think about where this burst of energy came from. Then it dawned on me, my study guide arrived last night. Turns out my procrastination techniques are alive and well. Expect mucho crafting over the next few months as I avoid tackling uni work with every ounce of energy I possess. heh

Oh, and because she's so freaking awesome, I need to rave about Hannah's part in the creche Matariki concert on Friday evening. All the kiddos were gorgeous, but it turns out that the Devil Child had composed the lyrics to the "Taniwha Haka". Minor amount of GENIUS, may I say? Super proud mama moment.